When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. Cultivating empathy. In her 2000 book, "The Zen of Listening," Shafir says mindful listening helps you to: Shafir and Scott also suggest mindful listening can potentially have physical and psychological benefits. Simply listening to someone. Shafir likens focusing on another person to stroking a pet – you forget about yourself, your blood pressure drops, and you feel calmer. Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). We listen to reply. In his 1994 book, 'Wherever You Go, There You Are,' Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor of medicine emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, says mindfulness means "paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.". How good are your listening skills? I like the way you described its benefits for the listener as well as for the speaker, in terms of really getting to connect with people and also giving hugs! Use Policy. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! I'm busy working on my blog posts. The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. should be on the person you are listening to, without distractions. Should you listen, or attempt to FIX? So, how can we listen more effectively? Self-interest keeps our own thoughts and needs in the front of our minds, pushing the speaker to the back. I won’t belabor this intro because this is a pretty interesting 30-minute-or-so discussion, but John Hill and I worked on a project (website/copy/etc.) Listening to others can prevent several instances of miscommunication and thereby a … How often have you had a conversation with someone, and thought you were paying attention to him or her, only to realize shortly afterwards that you can't remember what he said? Although this is a humorous take on the issue, sometimes two people do not meet on the same page, often resulting in long standing repeated arguments. When you're empathic, you can understand a situation from someone else's point of view. £35 Amazon voucher! Furthermore, when we do listen, we tend to act on "autopilot," nodding and agreeing without really hearing the meaning of the words. Listen carefully and attentively. The following common guidelines can help you to accomplish effective listening in the vast majority of situations.