Nope, there's no other strategy. People would do this all the time in real life if they could. Yeah, it's been a while since I've done OKCupid. This is just one of those things that sucks about online dating. How would the ideal person on OK Cupid handle this? Newcitygirl Newcitygirl Established Member; Established Members; 80 posts #1; Posted January 30, 2017. It happens to women, too, although maybe not as much. Old conversation disappeared. By the 3rd or 4th email it's definitely time to set up a meet up. Also - and this is why I used to just disappear - you probably have said something that didn't sit right with the other person. cmgonzalez - if you get a memail, do you get pissed off if you reply and they don't sustain the conversation? Sites like POF the conversations delete themselves after 30 days regardless of whether you have an account up or not. When I email people on dating sites, half the time they just disappear and stop responding, even if it seems like it's going well. Seriously. Online dating is a numbers game; many people flake out along the way. Love her to death and we are pretty dam perfect together. I used to flake out sometimes when I was OKC. You're probably not doing anything wrong, and apart from trying to suggest meeting earlier (maybe 2 emails instead of 4? Basic reply I got was thanks for being so upfront and honest because most guys just quit communicating. I can think of a few reasons I've done this: Actually John Cohen, the OKC blog post I cited does not mention where they got their attractiveness ratings. You need to be a member in order to leave a comment. So I went ahead and deleted the three. not deleted. OkCupid requires you enable Javascript in your browser. Agreed. Why? Yeah, unfortunately on OKCupid the conversation thread stays there. When you want to meet, they drop it because they just wanted to online visceral thrill, or they were just testing the waters, or they just aren't emotionally ready to follow through. Sara C. - It's also like how when you apply for a job and they never reply to tell you you've been rejected. I guess I wasn't completely clear, upon disabling her account the conversation went to old conversations, but after that a few days later it was removed from there too, I understood if someone disables it goes to old convo not completely disappeared, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Press J to jump to the feed. Yes to a couple of them finding someone else - not half. You not noticing it does not mean it didn't happen. And the ones that did rarely led to 3rd dates. That girl will always have a potential date lined up if she wants. Followers 0. Are they different? All posts copyright their original authors. OKCupid’s blocking is a bit light-hearted. So focus hard on being quicker(not too quick) about setting up a date. But this sort of thing bothers me too. I just deleted a thread of a guy who canceled me 2 hours before the date. So you just wait and wait. Well, presently OkCupid is making some big changes to their platform - especially as far as communications between users are concerned. That being said, I did online dating for years. It will be marked deleted, which means don't show it in the UI but it's still there sitting in the server's storage. So stay positive and be diligent. This is SOP on OkCupid. they disabled their profile. when they sign back in the messages will move back to the inbox. Perhaps you're dragging things along a bit. And remember, as other people are saying, it's a numbers game. If you keep the date casual...coffee, lunch, icecream, something easy going and in a public place your chances will be greater of getting a yes. How to write a great introduction; How to hide a conversation; Mailbox size; Toggle Search. Powered by Invision Community. This thread is archived. Newcitygirl, January 30, 2017 in Dating. Copyright © 1997-2020 LoveShack.org. Do you think that's rude? share . They either started dating someone else, or they liked you enough to keep emailing with you, but not quite enough to commit to meeting you in person. Now you don't exist (to them). Sign up for a new account in our community. I am going to give you the full benefit of the doubt and believe you when you say there's nothing awkward or unusual about the emails. Why OkCupid hides someone after you send an introductory message to them; How to send an introductory message to someone; Intros! Categories. I'm pretty sure it's not personal. Ask MetaFilter is a question and answer site that covers nearly any question on earth, where members help each other solve problems. Don't take it personally. I often email women on OKCupid and start a conversation that seems like it's going well -- we are sending interesting, funny and flirtatious emails back and forth, we have definite things and common and stuff to talk about, they may have added me to their favorites -- and then they disappear and stop responding. Online dating is a challenge and can be very frustrating. And I ran into the same problem you have. save hide report. Most of my dates never led to 2nd dates. If I'm correct if you delete it then it should both disappear on inbox from both side. I met my wife online. Ask MetaFilter is where thousands of life's little questions are answered. best. Usually it was when a message dialogue went on too long without any meetup, either because the guy didn't ask or I didn't see a natural opening to. They made it sound like they considered photos only, in isolation of everything else, but they really didn't write anything about their methods so I can only give them the benefit of the doubt that they controlled for profile content somehow. Does the total thread disappear if you delete it on both ends? For some people, it's easier to just cut communication than to write a definite, explicit letter stating, "you seem alright, but I don't really feel like talking to you anymore." On okcupid, even deleting your own profile won't remove their copy of your messages though - you'll just see a message that the user no longer has an account, or they've disabled their profile. I think it's more likely that the conversation will be removed from her inbox, but not from his. I think your best bet here is to start asking out people sooner then later. I know on other OLD sites, if you delete your profile or even just hide or suspend your profile, your conversations disappear. Why did an intro/conversation disappear? How are two strangers exchanging informal messages or emails meant to wind down the conversation? If you're getting multiple replies that don't materialize into dates, chances are you are a backburner option for that girl and she has more interesting people in the queue at the moment. Learn more Just keep going, give yourself a break once in a while, and don't get discouraged! I think the clue is “multiple people” which negates some of the (otherwise good) answers to this question. and there is a feature of the site now that allows people to rate your photo only (called My Best Face or something like that). The "epistolary courtship" of online dating doesn't really offer this way of face-saving for either party. What's going on? Sometimes I flake out because I am too busy to respond -- and it's annoying to do it all in OKC anyhow -- and by the time I am a little freer, I feel like it's been too long. There is just something tricky about that moment where a person is trying to decide, "Okay, do I REALLY want to go meet this person in real life?" This is probably idiotic, but there you have it. So I'd say this is pretty normal behavior on OKC and most other online dating sites. And in the last instance it was just before I was hiding my account when things went from casual to exclusive with my current boyfriend. The contents may also be cached on local computers or on intermediate nodes in the network. I've done this, for many of the reasons mentioned: the person said something that made me uncomfortable with further communication, I realized I didn't have anything in common with the person, I got really busy and didn't have a chance to answer, or I started dating someone and didn't need to be on the site anymore.